Everyday that passes distances me from the last time you took a breathe…
Your mistakes will never be my own, and you taught me that in your own strange way.
Taking you away from us was the hardest thing I have had to deal with to date.
I miss you… I miss you… We miss you.

Sometimes when I call home I can hear my mother’s sad voice on the phone. It echoes and I know what she feels. Her pain is much like my own and we both need you. Michael won’t admit it unless he is intoxicated… it’s a shame but it’s true. Not that it’s a big surprise considering he has always been a rather to himself person. But he misses you just as much if not more than me. Well that will happen since he knew you longer… Being the baby sister tends to give you some disadvantages.

I don't blame you for your death, I blame your addiction. I blame the drugs, and the fact that it had been too much and too long. If there is one thing I learned through all this is that I will never touch any for of any drug. I can't be responsible for what happened to our parents when you passed.

Fred it’s been four months now and they have been some of the darkest days of my life. I wake up often in the middle of the night to screams finding that they are only me... mom is pretending to be okay when I hear her voice crack in every call. The funeral didn't make it any easier... I have trouble concentrating and I don't know what to do. What I do know is you wouldn't want that.

My birthday is coming and the only thing I want is for the day to pass without me crying, without nightmares, and without me thinking how you will never be there again.

Love you're baby sister...

p.s. put in a good word for me up there...