okay.. so.. I'm 15 turning 16 in six days.
I want to get this off my chest before my birthday.

I smoke cigarrettes, I drink alcohol, I smoke weed, I have extreme fantasies about sex, when I'm scared to actually have intercourse anymore.

I was sexually violated a few months ago. since then I've been practicing abstinence.

I lied to some of my exboyfriends about how many partners i've had.

I kind of will sound like a slut, but more often than not I find myself in strange predicaments that I am scared to say no to. considering I was usually on some sort of upper or whatever when it happened.

I lost my virginity at thirteen.
Ive had multiple partners since then.. WAY more than multiple..

more like eleven partners, but when I think about it, I wish I could have avoided all those people and never gotten myslef into those situations.

I've cried myself to sleep so many nights I could not count.

I have raised myself since I was eleven.
I have lived with alcoholic father alone since I was 11,

when I say this, most people think directly to sexual abuse, but believe me when I say it is NOT true. my grandmother liked to tell people that i was molested when I was younger because I had a severe break out of herpes simplex one during fourth grade.

I never think so, but I am extremely sexually appealing according to uhmm people.

I have many deep thoughts, especially when I'm high. I love being high.
I'm addicted to it.

not physically of course but I reallllly don't think I could ever stop smoking weed or taking bars.

I'm writing a book and a screen play for a movie my friend will direct.
I'm really very intelligent. I'm in all junior and senior classes, although I am a sophomore. I am frequently contemplating on calling up my friend and asking him to come over and fuck me.

sometimes I think I'm bisexual..
sometimes I think I'm straight.

but mostly I think I would just really love eating a girl out. I think I would be amazing at it. I really hate sucking dick.. and I refuse to. I have done it only once for a stupid exboyfriend on his birthday.. mistake!.

I like getting on the webcam when i'm extremely horny and letting people see me naked and watch me pleasure myself. I like getting online and showing people my temple. I am a sex goddess. I am a sexual queen. I am kidding.

I like to look at myself naked in the mirror.
I like to take pictures of myself naked on my phone and send them to people and have them text their erotic answers back...







I love drugs,
deep thoughts,
alcohol,
and sex.. but I haven't had sex for months... I've been scared... oh well...


:]
I'm still happy with my life.

I know how to forget my troubles and live the day as the present and fufill my being...


feel free to comment this and send me your information lmao. you never know what happens with me.