I have been addicted to meth for the last 10 years of my life, maybe even a little longer. I can't even go a day without hitting the pipe. I've tried, but it hurts so bad that I can't even stand it. I don't have "meth bugs" or anything like that, nobody does, I don't know why everything you read about meth talks about them. I just hurt all the time, even when I'm high, but not as bad. It's like when you're sick with the flu, only way worse, and without all the vomiting. Aches and pains, my whole body hurts. Then, there's the severe depression and thoughts of suicide that just won't stop. Well, they stop, when I hit the pipe, instantly. I'm 33, and all i've done my entire adult life is get high, so the depression is certainly justified. I'll probably never be happy again, so the suicidal thoughts are probably justified too. I won't do it, it would hurt too many people if I killed myself, ironically the same people it hurts to see me this way. I've always been on drugs, I have no idea what it's like to be sober, i only know that being sober hurts, and the longer I'm sober, the more it hurts. I think after a little while it starts to go away, but I'm pretty sure it always will, even if it's only a little bit.
I'm not a criminal, I'm just sick. So many people I know have been thrown in jail and/or lost their families because they were sick, and it's not right. Meth is a bigger problem than you think, it's worse than they say on the news, it's worse than crack, or heroin. There's only one thing that can help, and that's love. I know that if I had someone who loved me, someone that knew who I am, who would help me through the first couple weeks getting off shit, I would be able to walk away from it forever. But I don't really have any friends anymore, and I can't do it alone. Lord knows I've tried.