Chicks dig me

Mind you, males in male-dominated fields (especially things like Computer Science) tend to be kind of skittish around women (geeks they tend to be kind of socially inept anyhow). It might not be that you're undesirable or unlikable--it's probably their problem. Maybe taking a more proactive approach would be the solution, maybe asking a guy that seems nice if he'd like to get coffee sometime or something. Boys are stupid--we just an extra push sometimes.

Posted by aristos_achaion on Thursday, 12/20/07 - 10:43pm

I bet that they can sense how desperate you are.

Posted by aye on Friday, 12/21/07 - 6:03pm

More than likely, they either think you're gay or are scared of you in some way.

You need to be honest and NEVER be afraid of rejection. You will ALWAYS fail if you never take a risk.

Maybe you should try looking outside your circle of friends and workplace.

Posted by petey on Saturday, 12/22/07 - 5:26pm

If the males are a big reason you're doing what you're doing, I'd say you shouldn't be doing it.

However. I really really get what you're talking about, here. I'm in a male-dominated major, and it really seems nobody wants to talk to me except for a few guys and yes, all the girls. There've been a few memorable times that I've somehow worked up the courage to approach and initiate conversation but have been ignored or dismissed. These reactions even from boys who share most of my classes -- I mean, we'd have a lot to talk about, right? But no.

However. I'm in my second year in this major and I keep starting or joining more and more conversations and gaining more male acquaintances and friends. Probably easier since I managed to be the only girl in one of the classes, but the more comfortable you get where you are then the more willing, I think, that guys will be to see you as not only a classmate but hey, a girl.

Still. Half my major-guy-friends are not single. A disproportionate amount of the non-single guys are my friends.

Join some clubs. Hang out in major-specific common areas (I'm in CS -- I started making more friends once I started hanging out in the labs and lounges to get my projects done instead of staying in my room) especially if you have things from your major-classes to work on. Just keep throwing yourself in the midst of people with your same interests and you'll find some boys who want to talk to you /and/ are worth talking to. :D Good luck!

Posted by ribbonred on Monday, 12/24/07 - 8:46pm

I love my major, I want to work in the industry beyond anything, and I have life-long goals that I want to achieve. I guess the fact that my field is male-dominated isn't the biggest reason, but it probably swayed me to go into animation rather than psychology (which is almost all female.)

I do try to talk to the guys, and they don't seem to be interested in what I have to say. I am in a club that relates to my major, and I kind of just drift to the meetings while the guys don't give me any attention. Maybe it is because I'm a freshman and still don't know many people in my program, but I'm not sure.

Though I would like to have a boyfriend, that really isn't my goal as far as getting to know these guys is. I just want to be friends with them, and I just want them to talk to me. If anything evolves from that, great. If not, that's cool too.

Maybe I am intimidating. Out of all the girls I know in my program (a total of three, but I know there are more... somewhere...) I am probably the most feminine of the bunch. It's no secret that I can be super geeky and nerdy at times, but perhaps my wardrobe full of dresses makes me too girly. I wear what I want, but I don't want to be viewed as ditzy or air headed.

Wow, I just wrote a lot. Sorry!

Posted by Original Poster on Monday, 12/24/07 - 11:48pm

Men are always intimidated by women who come into 'their field' of work. It happens all the time. It also has to do with not only a 'boys club' attitude but the fact that males who are insecure themselves will stick to what they know and hide behind it. You are a fascinating creature to them but they don't know how to approach you so instead they put up a wall and hide behind 'their field'. Men are most comfortable around a woman who isn't going to panic if they fart or burp. If you're coming off as too proper they may be worried about offending you. Animation is a world of 'make believe' where these guys spend most of their time. They would know how to deal with you in 'la-la land', just not in real life. You need to stop deferring to them, quit worrying about being liked and worry more about getting RESPECT. Men don't want, need or like desperation on a woman. When they see you are there to learn ANIMATION and not make buddies, they'll be more intrigued and more willing to learn more about you.

Posted by xXx on Wednesday, 12/26/07 - 9:15am

The comments by xXx and Aristos are true in your case. I can totally see why they wouldn't be interested in anything you'd have to say at that point.

Don't try so hard. In another, more relaxed setting, office party or something similar, that's where you'll shine! Let the hair down, the skirt up, bring out the hooker-red lipstick, and let the cleavage do the talking! And ignore them, just as they do to you when you're on the job.

Then, when you return to work in your more modest professional attire, they'll be thinking, "Damn, this girl cleans up well! I can't believe how stunning she looked last night... Who knew we had such a hot piece of ass right under our noses! Let me go and talk to her...."

Just bask in the compliments, but modestly so, of course!

Posted by Works Every time on Saturday, 04/18/09 - 4:21am