Hypocrite
Posted On Saturday, December 26, 2009
When me and my ex of over a year broke up, my life has been reduced to nothing excellent. Just meaningless sex and excessive drinking, but lately I've been looking for a new flare in life, something to brighten my day. Believe me, I've thought and thought of what I could do, so don't just be all like "Go out for sports" No, no, no. I can't stand sports, I cough up my lungs after 3 minutes. Anyways, on topic - My friend has recently gotten into marijuanna and when she confessed, I got so angry at her. I was calling her names and telling her how stupid it is and how much it hurt me, I just completely over reacted. I told her it hurt so bad, because it did bad things for me when I was younger. But now, this new flare I was speaking of, I'm contemplating getting back into drugs. I'm not sure if it's the best thing to do, but anything to kill time, to take my minds off the dark things swirling in my mind. Also, I have tried other things, such as drawing, painting, writing, they've all just gotten old. I'm so upset with myself for treating my friend that way, I love her so much, yet I'm being a huge hypocrite. I feel so crappy for it all..
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4 comments (post a new comment)sometimes i feel like getting into that to..
its like...an escape ya know. i wonder how i can cope
with some past pain just to go on living.
people may look at you an say "yeah there put together"
"there fine." no there not. its obviouse.
i use to cut to deal with things.
and drinking has been a hobbie.
to top it all off im addicted to sex.
plus im a girl..
what a shame. so, im not saying dont do it.
because id be a hypocrit too.
Posted by lemon on Saturday, 12/26/09 - 10:14am
i know that feeloing of she running away i use oil paint alot am behind 2 paints. i being alone cuz i am my own worst enemy. am trying to love myself the best i can and trying to make an effort some days are hard some days am lucky. all i can just try to ur best i know is hard to let go. hang in there
Posted by Constantine on Saturday, 12/26/09 - 8:18pm
to be honest, there's nothing wrong with weed.
as long as you use it responsibly and sparingly it's not harmful.
i smoke on the weekends just to have fun and during the week i focus on my schoolwork.
it's not a depressant like alcohol and you can't become addicted to it. if someone is "addicted" to marijuana they're fucked up, it's a mental addiction, not a physical one.
so try it, if it helps, there's nothing wrong with it.
Posted by cer. on Thursday, 01/7/10 - 9:22am
making a list of the things that you think are not so great about yourself and then fixing those things so that in the future, less girls will dump you
Posted by how about on Friday, 03/19/10 - 2:30am