I really do

I really do want to fuck you.
I say I don't and act like I don't, but I do.
I talk shit and say how gross it is that you have had sex with so many other girls.
I'm just afraid because I don't want to be just another added to the list that everybody can talk about & it's worse cause I'm a virgin.
well next time we party i'm planning on getting trashed. so I don't even care.
Because I know that you'll try. & maybe this time I'll say yes.