My son thinks I'm his sister

You should enlist the help of your family to tell him, maybe in a year or so. He's grown up his whole life thinking his grandmother is his mother, so essentially she is. Family, no matter how convoluted, is subjective -- whatever position you love from, that is the position you hold. If your mother loves him as a son, and he loves her as a mother, it is no different from an adopted child, who must also be told the truth eventually. However, also as with an adopted child, he will probably never return to you as a son.

Posted by RogueFishFood on Monday, 01/1/07 - 12:57pm

You should definitely tell him. I know Jack Nicholson (the actor) was in a similar situation. Both his mother and grandmother died before he could find out why he was raised by his grandmother rather than his mother (who posed as his sister). It happens more often then you think. Do your son a favor and tell him now before it's too late.

Posted by Jack on Monday, 01/1/07 - 11:22pm

why would you subject him to that pain? so you can feel at peace? i don't see at all how this would help your son. It's horrible that he doesn't know his real mother, but as far as he's concerned, your mother IS his real mother. You made a mistake that will live with you the rest of your life, but I think you and your family should keep the secret for his sake... at least until he's an adult and can handle the shock without needing therapy the rest of his life.

Posted by mom on Friday, 01/5/07 - 1:13pm

What the what? Who cares if your family is religiou what does that have anything to do with it? Why didn't the family tell him who his mom was?

Posted by AMA on Friday, 01/5/07 - 9:05pm

You should tell your son the truth before he finds it out on his own..and he WILL find out eventually..it always works out that way!

Posted by BryM on Friday, 01/5/07 - 11:27pm

The first answer is the only one here that I'd even take seriously, personally.

Posted by on Tuesday, 01/9/07 - 3:53pm

I knew a family who did this and it hurt the girl really bad when she found out. Talk to your parents first. Make sure everyone is ready to tell and that they'll be there for support your son.
Another thing is not to expect your son to start treating you like his mother. To him, you aren't.
Good Luck!

Posted by Brianne on Tuesday, 01/30/07 - 10:07am

Every child deserves to know who their parents are. If he's angry because of it, then so be it. But he will hate you more if you don't tell him, and he does find out

Posted by Sarah on Tuesday, 02/13/07 - 11:23pm

I think you should tell him. You should also consult your parents, before you do that; make sure they give you the OK.

Posted by Miss No name on Saturday, 02/17/07 - 8:52pm

I think you should tell him too.. You don't have to consult anyone else, after all he's your son. I think it will be hard for him to adjust to at first. It's better that you do tell him sooner rather than later. :)

Posted by Christina on Saturday, 02/24/07 - 12:42pm

if you were in his place wouldn't you want to know? I think it'll be hard, but hes gonna have to find out some time. Good luck.

Posted by ~ on Sunday, 02/25/07 - 9:39am

Hi Dear,

you are in a challenging situation. I dont know weather you have heard of story with lord Krishna, he was son of royal couple born in Jail(prophecy said that he is the one who will kill his demon maternal uncle) and was sent overnight to his aunts place to raise.. practically he had two mothers.. till his teenage he got all the love from his aunt(as mother) and as he grew up answered the call of life to fulfill his responsibilities to his actual parents.. and story goes on...

Mother's affection is the only thing that one is born from and probably dies with.. If your love for your son and brother is true and enough that can make him forget everything.. go ahead... Having two mothers is never a loss.. Good luck and all the best (Y)

Posted by from India on Monday, 02/26/07 - 5:32pm

I'm sorry you're in this situation-I have no idea how much that could hurt. I just wish you luck and hope that you tell him.

Posted by on Thursday, 03/8/07 - 3:01pm

Its called birth control, and a condom. I guess this is what crazy religion does to a person.

Posted by Andrew on Saturday, 03/17/07 - 1:04am

If I were you I wouldn't tell him. Why out him through that? Just love him the best you know how, and try to get on with life. Maybe when he's older you shoyuld tell him.

Posted by Miriah on Monday, 03/26/07 - 4:12pm

Your mother has raised him and loves him as her son. I don't think that you have a right to come between their relationship. You have to talk to your mother about the way you are feeling. She knows her son better than anybody and will know what is best for him. I think that you and your mother should come to the decision together and only tell him when you both feel he is mature enough to understand. If your mother does not want to tell him at all, then I think you must wait until he is an adult.

Posted by Amanda on Friday, 03/30/07 - 7:52pm

Your story reminds me of my best friends family. My best friend's oldest sister had a little girl when she was like 17 but for whatever reasons she opted to let the mom adopt the little girl. So the entire family, and everyone else in the neihborhood knew that the little girl was really the sister's but everyone kept up pretending that the little girl was the mom's. And the sister always lived at home to be near her daughter and always bought the child everything she needed like a mother would but the little girl still had no idea. The little girl just thought she had a real cool big sister.

Anyway, the little girl just started middle school last year and it was actually the mom's choice to sit the little girl down and tell her the truth. Since everyone in the neihborhood knew, I think the mom feared that the little girl would find out from some inconsiderate kid in school or something.

I wasn't there but I guess the little girl flipped out. I guess she cried for days and would only talk to her brother/uncle we seemed to be her safe haven. But, after dealing with it within her own mind she finally started asking the questions that mattered - like who her real father is and what she should call everyone and so on. Within a month, she was right back to normal.

I think it was the right thing to do, and by the end of it all the little girl realized how lucky she was that everyone around her loved her so much and spoiled her so much no matter who was her biological mom. And as far as she was concerned, the mother would always be her mother while the sister would always be the sister.

Posted by confusing on Saturday, 11/1/08 - 10:33pm

This is also why guys should stop lusting after their sisters! You never know!

Posted by No More Drama, Mama on Saturday, 11/1/08 - 11:21pm

Talk to him and let him know the truth and enjoy the rest of the years to come it will hit him weird at first but eventually things will move on. U don't want to live with WHAT IF for the rest of your life.

Posted by blob on Monday, 07/27/09 - 7:21pm

OMG! Sylvia, is that you?? I always suspected you were my mom! WTF?? Why did you lie to me?? You mean to tell me that I have actually been having fantasies about my own mom?!?

Posted by Travis on Wednesday, 12/16/09 - 3:43am

Are you from Alabama by any chance?

Posted by JinSD on Wednesday, 02/24/10 - 9:22am

That sucks....
Have u ever considered selling your story to "the Bold and the Beautiful"

Posted by Squiggles on Tuesday, 05/18/10 - 5:25pm

Telling him will only fuck him up...you want him to turn out like YOU!!!!

Let it go and let him be a kid. Don't fuck up his world cause then you will be a no good bitch who stole his joy from him.

Posted by Bubear55 on Wednesday, 05/19/10 - 1:39pm

I wonder what happend?

Posted by hi on Thursday, 06/10/10 - 12:14am