im okay with being crazy

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic. I've only seen her off her medication once. It was the most disturbing and scariest time of my life.

I hope you are okay, but please, please, please, make sure you don't loose control of yourself.

Posted by worried on Friday, 07/6/07 - 11:19pm

ya.. just dont lose urself to the voices... =)

Posted by asd on Saturday, 07/7/07 - 9:49pm

I'm sure they're not as bad as everyone thinks
Considered having conversations with them?

Posted by Kat on Friday, 07/20/07 - 1:23am

i have severe adhd and i know how horrible medication can be. When im on my meds, I'm a shadow of myself. It's as if someone put a safesearch on my brain that filters out every thought that isn't "normal". These filtered out crazy thoughts, however, are often the ones laden with creativity. I know that hearing voices is quite differant than an attention disorder, but I still can relate on the level that I hate myself when i'm medicated.

Posted by bella on Saturday, 07/28/07 - 11:37am

I understand completely. Well done =]

Posted by C on Friday, 08/3/07 - 3:43pm

Right on!!!

I have ADHD too, and aderall is nothing but a personality killer. I love playing (and am quite good at) the piano. But when I was on aderall, the piano was nothing but a set of white and black keys.

While everyone is focusing on racial discrimination, mind discrimination is running rampant. I wonder how many brilliant children are "cured" each year because they're brains refuse to concentrate on the meaningless drivel that is public education.

Posted by Dingbat on Saturday, 08/4/07 - 12:49am

good job : )
its always good to feel like yourself.

Posted by on Saturday, 09/8/07 - 9:06pm

I was in the hospital once, I thought I was doing OK. The machines told me what was happening, I could see the cameras they used to spy on me. (One camera must have cost 30 billion dollars!) I could hear the gunshots from the assassins in the hallways. I knew they had already killed my family. The whole situation was on the nightly news. --- When the medicine started working, life became easier. Its been harder to think, but *I'm* in control now and I'm working on becoming a sculptor. My creativity is different, possibly better. I'm so glad I didn't keep the voices.

Posted by Heard voices on Monday, 10/29/07 - 1:39am

Have you seen the movie 'a beautiful mind' ?

Posted by BTS on Thursday, 12/27/07 - 1:39pm

I wish I had friends/voices like that.

Posted by Jealous on Thursday, 02/28/08 - 5:32am

I don't believe in adhd. I had it for a long time. Then I turned off my tv and stopped watching videos although (this includes youtube). Now I can concentrate more. There's a reason why these diseases are new.

I'm all for people being different. You hear voices and like it. Good for you. As long as you're not a threat to yourself or anyone else, why should you be on meds? Who's to say hearing voices is a bad thing. I'm crazy too. More power to crazy people!

Posted by UmNo on Saturday, 04/5/08 - 3:50am

when i was a child my only friend was a pebble.

Posted by leo on Wednesday, 04/9/08 - 11:59pm

when i was a yungen i slapped my ma.pretty much ever day. and im dam proud of it.

Posted by cleatus on Thursday, 04/10/08 - 12:09am

a psych at my university tried to put me on meds for severe depression. I thought it was bullshit, he did it right after the assessment (after two sessions) without even asking me any questions or bothering to find out WHY I'm depressed. Lazy asshole. I told him I was feeling AAAALL better and I dumped him. I've been really depressed and suicidal, since, but I'd rather deal with my insomnia, suicidal tendencies and other low periods than spend my happy moments as a gray, boring, old shoe. I told my friends and parents when the doc wrote me the prescription..all of my friends who cared about me said that they were there for me for my low periods and that I didn't need that junk. My mother wanted me to take them meds so that I'd get along better with my sister (who I tend to avoid, she stresses me out. plus, we live separately in a big city.) My mother later came to her senses and apologized after seeing an article that Prozac (etc) is basically snake oil/can make you feel WORSE. I just try and eat more vitamin B's to keep my mood stable.

So rock on with your voices, just don't cause harm to other people, or yourself (unless you really want to.) (hey, it be hippocritical of me to command you not to hurt yourself.)

Posted by girl on Thursday, 04/10/08 - 6:32am

Well I think you should keep doing that. Whatever makes you happy. It's not like anyone can tell. Personally, I think that you are very lucky. I wish someone would talk to me.

Posted by anonymous on Wednesday, 04/23/08 - 5:27pm

I'm not afraid of my voices or hallucinations. I don't consider them to be dangerous, they are just a part of me. I recognize them as a symptom of my condition, but I do have friends who are terrified by them to the point of being heavily medicated. I like myself better unmedicated, except for when I get depressed. The doctor is in too big a rush to see the next patient to recognize that I'm not telling the truth when she asks me if I hear or see things other people don't. The last med they put me on for that actually made me hallucinate far worse than I ever did before.

Posted by bipolar me on Sunday, 06/22/08 - 10:46pm

I wish I had voices in my head cuz i often times get bored and want someone to talk to but I completely understand.

Posted by joe on Thursday, 07/31/08 - 2:31am

I hear voice sometimes as well. Never got put on meds for them though, because i had the sense not to tell anyone. Sometimes, ill make up my own voices and lose myself somewhere, thinking everything out. Then again, i passed the gifted testing with flying colors, so keep going dude and you could do well in life. hearing voices or feeling down shouldnt drag you down. been there, done that.

Posted by D on Friday, 10/24/08 - 6:01pm

You're pretty fucked up!

Posted by BLAHH on Tuesday, 01/6/09 - 9:38pm

You should get a job,and don't hit your mom any more!

Posted by joey on Tuesday, 01/6/09 - 9:42pm

just dont hurt anyone

Posted by WK on Wednesday, 07/1/09 - 3:41am

Good for you.

Posted by C on Thursday, 07/2/09 - 10:01pm

Most of the time the voices are very destructive and negative. The meds, then, become essential; especially, if the schizophrenia is the paranoid type.

Over time and at times, the messages from these voices can become more and more unreasonable. By that point, it is usually too late for you to recognize when you're in trouble.

Dyslexia, ADD and ADHD come with amazing gifts. ADD/ADHD, for example, come with astonishing creativity and a "hyperfocus mode" (where you exclude any and all things around you except that one task at hand--and you master it! This is tough to learn though at first.

The problem arises when you need the mind to stop shifting or focusing on ONLY what YOU find interesting and "get the bills paid" or "clean up the room, or "pay attention in a boring history class. Caffeine could do the trick for a quick short fix, since it tends to slow down the ADD/ADHD mind.(It has the opposite effect here.)

So, I would NOT condemn all the meds just yet. Eventually, those who condemn the meds jump for an alternative. So they turn to drinking, marijuana, and other far more dangerous drugs. It happens much more than you will ever know. So, proceed with caution and LISTEN to those close to you. They will be the first to notice critical changes.

Posted by YNN on Saturday, 07/11/09 - 8:27am

meds don't have to make you a zombie. you'd never know i was medicated.

Posted by alive on Thursday, 07/16/09 - 9:07am

the wrong meds do. the right ones take trial and error to find

Posted by sane on Monday, 08/10/09 - 12:19am

To sane: Yes, unfortunately they do. The science of neurophysiology is relatively new. Complicating things still further, is the fact that we are all as chemically different as our food intake, thought patterns, and genetics can possibly make us.

Posted by YNN on Tuesday, 08/11/09 - 6:00am

I've always wanted to hear voices.. I'm jealous.

Posted by anonymous on Thursday, 08/13/09 - 2:54pm

I assure you, you don't! The voices are almost always entirely negative and violent. They are always intrusive. Sometimes we all need quiet time. For these sufferers, that doesn't exist.
Sometimes you need to concentrate, instead you have voices in your head telling you how worthless you are. No one needs a constant critic. Be very glad you don't hear voices.

Posted by YNN on Saturday, 08/15/09 - 11:04am

I understand how you feel about the meds. I'm on meds for the 2 disorders I have. I hate it. The fucked up is that I love the way I feel off of the meds. Just because everyone thinks I need them to be their definition of happy when I am happy and isn't that all that matters?? Don't get out of control and go into a downward spiral.

Posted by RollercoasterRider on Saturday, 10/24/09 - 11:08am

Just from the heading of this thread proves you are not crazy.

First off, crazy people don't know they are crazy. They think what they are going through is normal, whether it's happy delusions or scary voices in their heads.
Secondly they usually turn insane from "voices" which contributes to them not admitting they are crazy. Practically a wire in their brain has broken and what they perceive to be reality is altered.
but they NEVER admit to thinking they are crazy.


so you are fine, you have probably created these voices out of some sort of emotional situation you have or are going through.

Posted by Your fine on Saturday, 10/31/09 - 4:01am

i feel your pain. never tell anyone.. trust me on this. NO ONE. all the lil kids think its cool and say they hear voices but when they realize that you really do no one understands.

the medication is your call

my suggestions are stay off all drugs and alchohol for at least 6 months it definately helps. also try taking a class on meditation. physical training also helps.

good luck!

Posted by Zombeh on Thursday, 01/7/10 - 11:08pm

When I was seventeen I was diagnosed with major depression and put on medication. Personally I believe, it was then that I truly became suicidal. I know that isn't necessarily relevent to your problem but pyschiatrist really annoy me. It is as if they just want to pump everybody full of pills. Also, the people I know who have gone to school for psych, etc have always been some of the least compassionate people I know. I really think when it comes to your brain you have to trust your own instincts, unless of course you are hurting yourself or others. I don't think that field is very far advanced at all.

Posted by olah on Tuesday, 01/12/10 - 12:39pm

Right you are, Mr. or Mrs. Olah, as the field of psychiatry is even younger than the field of psychology.

Honestly, if you want to actually *work* through your problems with help, go to a psychologist. Psychiatrists focus on preventing and medicating mental illnesses while psychologists focus on the mind itself; they're the ones to go to if you don't want to leave your second session with an Rx for Side-ephexor

Posted by Sanguine on Wednesday, 01/13/10 - 9:36pm

I have mild schizophrenia. I only hear voices and see a few hallucinations, but they don't interfere with my daily life. I have learned to separate visuals from reality and I am doing fine.

I agree with you. Being crazy is who I am. As long as it's not hurting me or anyone around me, I am okay. Good luck to you :)

Posted by Melissa on Monday, 01/25/10 - 1:10am

im truly curious... what are these voices telling people? what are these invisible people whispering in your ears? im not calling you wierd, i mean, im 13 and am still scared of the dark... HAHAHA... yeah i know im a big nerdy dork. =D ~Seth C.

Posted by Zero on Tuesday, 02/16/10 - 10:30pm

YNN:

What you said about ADD/ADHD symptoms and hyperfocus was a bit of a eye opener for me. When I was younger in Jr High I was tested and determine to have ADD but I never really thought anything of it. For a while I saw a family doctor and was on meds, but that was many many years ago. But I recognize the fact that my mind tends to only focus on whats interesting to me. I DO tend to call out sick from work just because I dont feel like it at that particular time, even though moneys pretty tight and I have bills that have to be paid. I did start smoking pot about a year ago or so, mostly I will just have a lil in the afternoon or on the weekends when I can stay in and focus on what I wanna do for the day. So now im wondering if its due to ADD?

Posted by JinSD on Thursday, 02/25/10 - 9:44am

I'm totally behind you 100%!!!! ADHD runs in my family, and my Mom and bro have it. My brother takes medication, but he has it really bad, and when he's off of the med it he's even worse. Can't concentrate on anything. I don't have it as bad as he does, but I do have it. I haven't really told anyone in my family, because I'm afraid I'll get hooked the meds, kinda like my bro is. Now I'm able to cope with my problem, and I'm one of the top in my class. I had some difficulties along the way, but I've realized it's best to be myself.

Posted by Reanme on Monday, 03/8/10 - 8:33pm

I have multiple personality disorder.... I like talking to the voiccees to

Posted by Wanna Hear them too on Wednesday, 03/24/10 - 11:17pm

I'm ok with admitting that I have a mental illness but with seeing how meds have improved my life, I would not be ok with letting myself go off them anytime soon.
I can't tell you what to do but I wouldn't advocate lieing about taking your meds. The right one can make a big difference.
I went from sleeping all day, suicide attempts, talking to dead serial killers and wandering the streets in my pijamas in the middle of the night that I hadn't changed for a week (seriously, not cool) to volunteering at the SPCA, applying to go back to school and no longer wanting to kill myself. It's great, really great.

Posted by BP on Thursday, 04/29/10 - 8:04am

I have add and I here voices. I here my name being called when noone is there. And I hate my add meds they make me dull and boreing but when I'm off them I have fun in life and I am my self and I like me the way I am and I don't want anything not even meds to change me.

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Posted by PIMP FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK on Saturday, 07/10/10 - 5:06pm

DO NOT TAKE THE MEDICATION. IN SOME CASES IT CAN MAKE THE VOICES STOP BUT THE PROBLEM ISN'T REALLY FIXED. THESE MEDICATIONS ARE WHAT TAKE AWAY YOUR NATURAL FEELING OF DOING WRONG AND THIS IS USUALLY THE CAUSE WHEN THERE ARE THESE MASS SCHOOL SHOOTINGS. THE MEDICINE TAKES AWAY FOR FEELING OF WHAT IS WRONG. IF THE VOICES TELL YOU TO KILL AND YOU ARE ON THE MEDS YOU MAY END UP GOING AHEAD AND DOING IT, SINCE YOU NO LONGER HAVE ANY EMOTIONAL BARRIER.

I don't really know how to fix your problem but these kinds of meds are not the answer. They cause permanent brain damage/alterations too.

Posted by Conspiracy Theorist on Saturday, 07/17/10 - 8:16pm

Take a hit of acid,man.

Posted by joe slim on Saturday, 07/17/10 - 8:35pm

this is why i don;t tell my mom about the voices... she would probably put me in a mental hospital or something

Posted by my on Sunday, 08/8/10 - 6:05pm

Ya know what? Good for you. Control yourself, don't let others do it.

Posted by Mister Creepy on Friday, 08/13/10 - 3:14pm

I have a similar problem (if you can call it that) and when I'm on medication for it I don't feel like myself. I've gone off of medication but it requires a lot of diligence to keep my sanity from slipping. If you start to lose your grasp on reality and have any trouble discerning what's real from what's imagined, you need to tell someone. Don't distrust your therapist, you need to talk things through with another human being just to get an outside perspective so you don't get too lost in your own head. It's okay to be honest with your doctor and your parents about what's going on, they only want what's best for you and if you tell them that you don't feel like yourself on that medication I'm sure they'll understand and work with you to find a solution. If they do try to force you to take any medication against your will, continue to find ways around taking it and talk to another trusted adult (teacher, school counselor, etc...) about your situation.

Something to keep in mind: the voices that you hear are only projections from your own unconscious mind. Analyzing what they're saying objectively (this is where the psychologist can help) will help you understand why you're hearing them in the first place. Medication often times just masks serious issues that need to be resolved.

Also, DO NOT use any other drugs, even alcohol, and especially psychedelics or marjiuana. I know from personal experience that while they can sometimes "expand your mind" they will eventually take a serious toll on your mental health. Expanding your mind on your own without the aid of chemicals is a much more enriching experience, trust me.

Oh and for reference, I'm a seventeen year old girl.

Posted by neversleepingalwaysdreaming on Friday, 08/27/10 - 11:11pm