my dad played with my vagina
Posted On Sunday, January 20, 2008
i was about 6-8 i can not remember but i remember that night. i think not really sure but i wanted to sleep with my parents but my mom said no, too many people in the bed. so my dad slept with me. we were just laying down in the bed and he put his hand in my panties and just started playing with my clit , he never went in the hole. i just laid there not hurting me and it did not feel good. it was just shocking and uncomfortable because i kew it was wrong. i think he had done it before but i just dont remember. he asked me if it hurt and i lied and said yes--then he stopped. once he started snoring and i knew he was sleep i went to my moms room and very quietly climbed in the bed with her, snuck out in the morning.
I only told one person and it was in a chatroom to someone i never spoke to again. its not rape. it didnt ruin my life. i dont think it did. i guess its child molestation . it was so long ago i cant go trying to tell my mom this now. even with out having had touched me he is a shitty person. i dont like him. i can not afford therapy. im so paranoid someone will read this and know exactly who i am, pretend you dont for my sake please do.
i know i need help. i could do with just having a real best friend but i dont. i have no one. i always care for other people more than they care for me and that just hurts. i want something that is equal. and not all about sex. i see i can get someone who wants to touch me but that would be it.
im so f*cked up
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